It is Time that the Woman Take Back what was Stolen from Her!
Through many generations, women have experienced the generational scars of abuse that have taken many shapes, and hid in the daily routines of life as a mother, wife, sister, daughter, niece, teacher, preacher, WOMAN.
We have lived in such a way, that the scars left behind have become another part of us, as a tattoo with no disguise. We have been conditioned to think as victims and not VICTORS. Every woman has a story, a story that many times has not left the doors of her lips and is secretly kept in the depths of her heart. And until the day that she becomes confronted with that which she thought would just go away, will she be able to see her deliverance. Only God knows the vessel he will use, that will see us eye to eye, and allow us to realize that who we are carries a baggage, that left unopened, will stench and quench the divine purpose set apart for us.
Abuse comes in many shapes, forms, and colors. But abuse is not just the physical manifestation of a bruise, but the rejection, neglect, pain, and sorrow of a soul. Things that undealt with take a toll on the essence of who we are and transform us into the very thing we don't want to become.
Experiencing my parents' divorce when I was 3, growing up on welfare in the Bronx, and being sent to live with family in South America while experiencing a completely new culture, shaped much of who I am today. As a young adult, having submitted to relationships I thought I could trust as they took advantage of the very thing I held most dearest, having been divorced twice, eventually made it's way to the crevices of my soul. Thinking in the process that if I kept quiet, things would eventually change, but they didn't. Being belittled, accused, and put to shame became a normal part of life. Meanwhile, as the silence inside of me became louder, I saw that society and the world around me accept such things. The sad thing is, I never considered that these were not relationships that God had planned for me. Looking back, I now realize how many times He tried to keep me away. I didn't know there was such a thing as God having a perfect will for your life, and that if you would only learn to hear His voice, and obey, you would be guided into HIS perfect plan. As a Catholic School girl, I was taught what the religious books said about Jesus, but was never taught about having a relationship with Him. For me, God was just a spiritual force that overlooked the world, but didn't really have anything to do with it. I believed He was the force that created the heavens and the earth, but wasn't too concerned about who I was and who I was to become.
With every relationship and marriage that came and went, my void became larger with the need of something more...but nothing satisfied it. As they say" looking for Love in all the wrong places"...that was me. After sessions in therapy and going to school studying the clinical books of mental health came a breaking point. The depression, and desperation creeped upon me as one to have no Hope. But, one day, my Savior came, my Jesus! If I could draw a picture of how He rescued me, you would see me in a large, dark pit and the Lord reaching out His hand to me saying "My Daughter, come, I AM here". Halleluyah!
Our GOD is never late. He knows exactly what will get you to surrender at His feet and somehow realize that you can't do it without Him. He used a successful business Director to invite me to a "meeting", where little did I know was my appointed time to meet with my Creator. God knew just how much I looked up to the women in this business and He used this very woman to pray for me in a way that I never knew anyone could pray. A woman who had just met me, claimed to God for my life and I surrendered ALL! As tears rolled down my face, I knew that I had found what I had been searching for my whole life, except it wasn't a concept or an idea, but a Person. After a life-long, endless search, I didn't understand it, but I felt complete! That became the first day of the rest of my life. The work that the Holy Spirit began in my life has continued till this day and my days have never been sweeter. To experience daily the Presence of God in my life and realize the purposes and plans He has for me have been more than I could have ever imagined. The Lord says "Call to me and I will answer you, and will tell you great and hidden things that you do not know" (Jeremiah 33:3).
The Lord has a way of restoring our broken and shameful past and giving us more than what we could have ever desired for ourselves. And even the things we are not proud of, He will use them for His Glory. Today, I am married to the most wonderful man in the world, the man that God had separated for me from my mother's womb, Bishop David Santos, my greatest blessing! When I see him is when I realize how much God must love me. As Esther, God brought me from the pit to the Palace. Everyday I understand more and more what it is to be loved by God through a husband that truly Loves, respects, and cares for me. MY GOD is an awesome God. He restores the time that the caterpillar and locusts stole and gives you back wings to soar like a beautiful butterfly!
Let us commit to seeking the face of God so He can transform us into the vessels worthy of His Holy Calling. Our generations need healthy mothers, wives, and daughters. Let us allow ourselves to be the clay in the potter's hand so he can form us and mold us according to His Divine plan...
"Take pleasure in us , Oh Lord, and strip from us what has been holding us back from being who you have purposed us to be. Make us pliable in your hand, and show us the things that displease you, so we may present them before you and allow your Holy Spirit to have His way within us. Unite your Daughters, so that there be no discord, as we are your church, your chosen bride, who you will raise at Your second coming. Help us prepare our souls and bodies so that when the trumpet sounds we can look to you and see your shining face receiving us saying "Well done, my good and faithful servant, you have been faithful over a few things, I will make you ruler over many things. Enter into the joy of your Lord"!